One Week (the story of Sir Robert and his Spear)
 - filk words by Doireann inghean Alasdair
- to the tune of One Week by Bare Naked Ladies

It’s been
One week full of good fighting
Melees, battles, and bridges
Among other things
Five days full of reforming
We said, Get back together—come back, Meridies!
Three days into everything
We fought a resurrection and somehow we had lost the king
Yesterday he came to me
And he told me a story ‘bout fighting at Pennsic

Told me how he was advancing
In armor dancing
You’d think you were looking at Charlemagne
Then someone missed and was pissed
And then I think a lot of
Fighters had been killed and
Had gone and come alive again
We thought Lex and Waldi had the king’s side
But they were ringside
Cause they were caught in an amoeba
Both armies took some bad hits
They had to match wits
We tried to hold them or they’d bust through

Gonna make a break and try to take out their entire army flank
While the other half moves up behind their archers
Gonna get a volunteer hero
But Connell runs so very slow
But he’s so dangerous
We’re glad you signed a waiver

I cannot help it if I think you’re funny when you’re dead
Trying hard not to smile when you get mad
I’m the kinda king that laughs when I’m killing you
Can’t understand what I mean
You soon will
I have a tendency to jump on fighters from a tree
I have a history of stealing all their spears
 

It’s been
One day since he looked at me
Threw his arms in the air and said, You’re crazy!
By then, I had tackled him
I still got the grass stains on both my knees
And in three day I will send to you
The message says it’s not my fault—but here’s a spear for you
Yesterday if you’d beaten me,
There would still be two days of fighting at Pennsic

Shimmying silent, the quiet king slithered
Watching in the woods while the Tuchuk quibbled
Watched as Sir Connell had his helmet on
The Tuchuk’s arm swung
I hope his glove was made of metal
 An honorable guy, the king then came up
And tried to make up
But the Tuchuk guy got angry
The diplomatic manner of his speech then—o.k. it wasn’t then
Told him to jump if he felt froggy

Gotta get a better pair of gloves
The kind without the laces on
Just so my hands won’t always
Fling them off to fight with

Gotta get a better stick to use
You know, the kind that will go BOOM
When I hit someone that stands there screaming at me

I cannot help it if I think you’re funny when you’re dead
Trying hard not to smile when you get mad
I’m the kinda king that laughs when I’m killing you
Can’t understand what I mean
You soon will
I have a tendency to jump on fighters from a tree
I have a history of stealing their spears

It’s been one day since you challenged me
But then you
Dropped your arms by your side and said you’re sorry
Since then I have laughed at you
I said, you did exactly what I figured you were going to do
Three days since that forest feud
I still think that you’re to blame but what can I do
On that day, if you’d beaten me,
There would still be two days of fighting at Pennsic…
still be two days of fighting at Pennsic…
still be two days of fighting at Pennsic…
Jump Mother f_____er if you’re feeling froggy…….